Live A Revolution... Every Day

You've Got to be Kidding Me... Please dont be the kind of leader that's on this video!

It pays to always research before you speak.

Finding the Right Tool to Get Students to Open Up

 

This is the tool I use to open up the hood to my car. The thing that you would typically pull to open a car hood broke a couple of years ago. So, if I don't have these pliers, my hood doesn't open. 

It's a tool that's not typically thought of to open the hood of a car. Yet, it's the only tool that will open my car's hood. I know this, because I drive my car. You wouldn't necessarily know that you need to use something different to open up my car's hood unless you looked closely.

And, here's the thing...

This is true when it comes to students.

You can't always use the same tools on every student you come in contact with. 

You have to use what works. And the only way to know that, is to get to know your students. To look closely into their lives and be with them.

If you do that, you'll discover what you need to open up their lives to you.

Live Change: Trust vs. Authority

"Because I said so." I love AND hate that tactic. I love it because it reminds me of my childhood and the many times it was said to me by my mom, dad, teachers, coaches and parents of friends. I hate it because, well, it's a lazy form of communication that adults use to exert their authority. 

I actually caught myself mid-sentence getting ready to say the exact same phrase to Carter. I stopped and thought, "Todd, you're an idiot." This tactic in authority may work to get the five year old to clean up his toys. It may work for a coach who's told his players to run laps. It may work for a moment... but that's it... for one short moment. The authoritative works in the short-term moments. 

True life-change in an individual isn't inspired by someone's authority - for the most part. It's inspired by a person's trust they have in the other person trying to make their life better. 

The question then becomes, why do pastors, parents, coaches - adults, use the authoritative approach to try to cause life-change in a person? We think, students need to change because of our position, age, experiences. Students need to just take our word for it because of our authority. Why do we use this approach? Because it's easy. You see, it's not that our age, experiences or positions are bad or evil. Using our authority isn't necessarily a bad thing. It becomes a bad thing - it becomes useless, if that is all we use. However, those things become tools if they are applied in a relationship of trust between us and the person we are trying to help. So, then the next question becomes (and this is the coolest question), what the heck does this type of approach look like? Check this out:

"The Word became flesh and blood and moved into our neighborhood." John 1v14

Jesus is the perfect example. He literally had all the authority in the world. He could have simply said, "Follow me because I said so." And everyone would have had to follow him. He had the position. He had the experiences. But he chose a different way of bringing about life change... he brought it in by developing a relationship of trust with those he came in contact with. Check this out:

1. Jesus met people where they are at... "Passing along, Jesus saw a man at his work collecting taxes. Jesus said, 'Come along with me.' Matthew stood up and followed him."Matthew 9v9 - In other words, I want to be where you are. I care enough about you to go to where you live, breathe and operate.

2. Jesus also connected with people through personal touch..."A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, 'Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.' Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man." Matthew 8v2, 3 -He's communicating that he cares enough to touch someone considered untouchable. He's stating, you're worth something. You matter.

3. Jesus also let people fail... "Then Jesus told them, 'Before the night's over, you're going to fall to pieces because of what happens to me...' Peter broke in, 'Even if everyone else falls to pieces on account of you, I won't.' 'Don't be so sure,' Jesus said. 'This very night, before the rooster crows up the dawn, you will deny me three times.'" Matthew 26v31-34 - In other words, guys, you're going to fail. Not just a little. But a lot. Jesus could have stopped them from failing. But he didn't. He allowed them to experience failure. Not because he enjoyed watching them fail. No. I believe it's because he wanted to let them experience his love despite their failure.

4. Jesus also loved people through their failure... "After breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, 'Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?' 'Yes, Master, you know I love you.' Jesus said, 'Feed my lambs.' He then asked a second time, 'Simon, son of John, do you love me?' 'Yes, Master, you know I love you.' Jesus said, 'Shepherd my sheep.' Then he said it a third time: 'Simon, son of John, do you love me?' Peter was upset that he asked for the third time, so he answered, 'Master, you know everything there is to know. You've got to know that I love you...' Then Jesus commanded, 'Follow me.'" John 21v15-19 - Despite Peter outright denying any connection to Jesus, probably Peter's biggest failure, Jesus loved him through it. What a huge trust-building gesture - saying, even though you've failed, I still love you. I still see value in you. You still matter.

Unbelievable. Jesus inspired people to life-change through trust-building relationships with personal touch rather than relying on his authority only.

Now it's our turn.

One Thing You Need to Make a Difference

If you want to make a difference...

Have More Conversation.

If you want to better your marriage...

Have More Conversation.

If you want to be a better parent...

Have More Conversation.

If you want to be a better friend...

Have More Conversation.

I think I need to...

Have More Conversation.

You?

 

People, Clocks and Worn Down Batteries

Below is the clock that hangs on a wall in my office. When I looked at it yesterday morning it looked fine. But when I took more time to look at it more closely, it was off by five minutes.

Then, when I checked it again this morning, I noticed it was now off by two hours!

People can be like this clock too. At first glance, things seem great. Normal. But, for a lot of people, if we would take a moment to really look beyond the surface, we would find that a lot of us are a little off. Struggling with something. And if left alone, that little may grow into more. And before we know it, it grows into a crisis.

My office clock is way off now. The problem lies inside, beneath the surface. Its batteries are worn down.

And for many, if we take the time to look beneath the surface, we'll find that they are worn down too.

The question is...

Will

You

Take

The

Time

To

Look?

I need to get better at taking the time to look at people - to really see what's going on beneath the surface. And I have my office clock to thank.

By the way, I still haven't changed the batteries. And I don't think I will - to keep this a constant reminder.

The New "See and Say" - The Gift That Keeps On Giving

As I look over my 33 years of life, one of the greatest gifts that many people gave to me at different stages of my life can be found in Romans 4v17. Check this out:

"...the God who gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were."

This is one of my favorite passages that describes God.

How freaking awesome is that! I love that description of God.

To call things that are not as though they were... That's powerful. To help someone see who they can become, to help someone see what they can do, to cast vision into someone's being - that's catalytic.

I know from experience.

It breeds hope. It generates excitement. It creates a movement. And it has the power to change lives.

And it's something all of us can do!

It's the new See and Say.

Be Nice... NOW... Please

I struggle with being negative. I struggle with gossip. It comes natural to me. I'm sure I'm not in the minority when it comes to these two things. It sucks. I know that. And I acknowlege that. So, in an effort to hold myself accountable, I'm going to start adding a (+) sign, or a (-) sign at the end of my Twitter and blog posts. It's fairly self-explanable. If the post is positive, I add an (+) to the end. If the post is negative, I'll add an (-) to the end. Pretty simple.

Brody Harper actually started this little dealeo and has given permission to steal it... so I did. 

In the end, I want to be a person who dwells on what's good, and pure, and noble. I actually want to be "nice". And,  I want to be less "negative". But when I am, because I will be negative at some point, I want to have enough balls to call myself out.

+

This Is My Lifeline

My iPhone. I want it. I need it. Email. Calendar. Twitter. Facebook. iheartradio. Google Reader. Pandora... etc. It's my lifeline. I know, pretty sad. Which got me thinking...

What would my life look like if God was this important? What would it look like if Jesus was my Lifeline everyday?

Hmmmm...

Gadget Graveyard: 10 Technologies About to Go Extinct

I'm a gadget junkie. If I had more cash flow, I would be swimming in the latest tech toys. But I don't. In any case, I thought this was an interesting story on Fox News: Gadget Graveyard: 10 Technologies About to Go Extinct.

1. Landline Phones. If @jamiruth would let me get rid of ours, it would be gone.

2. Floppy Disks. Need I say more?

3. Wristwatches. I knew these things were on their way out 5 years ago when I asked what time it was and everyone pulled out their cell phone.

4. VHS tape and VCRs. TiVo and DVRs are so much better. But now we can watch our shows online. So when will DVRs go extinct.

5. Beepers. Seriously, they're still around? I think even the drug dealers gave up on them years ago!

6. Film cameras. I still love Polaroids where you have to shake the photo.

7. Typewriters. It's too bad they're gone. I loved throwing back the thing that moved the letters.

8. The Walkman, Discman and MiniDisc Player. I never even had the MiniDisc Player. 

9. Dial-up Internet Access. I would shoot myself if I had to go back to this.

10. DVDs. Almost all of our Dora the Explorer content is kept on our TiVo. ALL of our Backyardigans and Mickey are for sure. And I would rather rent a movie without going out.

So what did Fox News miss. Any tech toys you think will be extinct soon that didn't make the list?

I "F'ing" HATE FAKE

I've been thinking about the idea of authenticity. What does healthy authenticity look like in my life. In the life of students. Is there even a thing called healthy authenticity. That's something I'm working on - right now - in real time. 

Because I hate fakeness. Diddy might call it "Bitchazzness". I despise the idea of being "fake". I've been there and done that - all in the name of conformity. All in the name of being accepted. All in the name of fear. I HATE FAKE! 

I think we can all agree with that statement. Let's yell it together,

 "I HATE FAKE!" 

So, now that we know that I HATE FAKE, let me tell you what I love...

This past week at Revolve, I was catching up with a student I hadn't seen in a while. As he talked about how he's doing and some of the things he's going through, he dropped some colorful language. I LOVED IT! I loved every part of the conversation - swearing and all.

What, Todd? You love it when a student cusses? Yes! 

I love it when a student is real. When they're not checking themselves at the door. 

One of the things that turns my stomach is when a student checks their speech when they die in Halo 3. You know what it sounds like... 

"Oh shi--oooot." 

They're not checking their language to make a life change. They're checking their language because they're at a "religious" event and don't want me to know they cuss. They're checking it in the name of conformity, acceptance or fear. Come on now. If that's the only reason they ain't cuss'n, that's the wrong reason. I don't want anyone to stop cussing for me. If I'm the reason, it's the wrong reason.

So, I'm cool with cuss'n kids. 

Why?

Cause I HATE FAKE! I want to get to know who these students really are - not who I really want them to be - so we can get to the next level...

Life Uninterrupted - Flaky Girl Style

Everyone knows a flaky girl girl who, "Oh my God, did you just see that..." just won't shut up. Blah blah blah. And she talks and talks and talks and talks... and you want to say, "Hush". Actually, you want to say, "Shut the bleep up." But you don't cause you're a Christian and Christians don't talk like that... right. But we sure do think it. Or at least I have.

That's how life's been the last couple of days for me. 

Thebusinessandtherateatwhichthingshavehadtogetdonefeelsliketheflakygirlwhowon'tshutup! 

And while I love being busy, I don't like the feeling of life being chaotic - if feels un-natural. Just like the above sentence, I kept having to back space cause it wasn't natural to type that way. That's not the way sentences are suppose to be written. 

Life's the same way. We try to cram a whole bunch of crap into a 24 hour span - or at least I do. And it works for a while. But that's not how life is suppose to be lived. It's not natural. And it begins to feel weird. 

Chaos. It sucks. I need times in my life where I can simply be. To simply slow down and be silent. Silent in the middle of the chaos. Cause that's where I get recharged.

That's what where talking about at Revolve this Sunday night. Only we're not talking. I'm using an idea from Corey Mann and teaching through a video in complete silence to drive home the message. Should be interesting. 

I can't wait!

Thomas Nelson Book Reviewer

I follow Michael Hyatt on Twitter. Michael is the President and Chief Executive Officer of Thomas Nelson Publishers. The other day, he posted a tweet stating if you're a blogger, they will send you free books to review on your site. So I signed up yesterday. Got approved. And the book above is the first I will be reading a reviewing. I already can't wait for the next one.

Communication Is Powerful

I love the photo above. Which is better. In my view, the iPhone smokes the Crackberry. Others believe the Crackberry tears the iPhone to shreds. It's really in the eye, or hand, of the beholder. Regardless of your opinion, one thing is true, both of these phones have revolutionized the way we communicate. Because we know that communication is powerful.

I learned this by accident early on in my student ministry career. As a young, 22 year old punk, I found that people looked at me as a cute, immature kid. And while that was, and sometimes still is, true, I also found that when I began communcating what was going on in the student ministy, things changed.

And as I continue to work with students and their parents on a daily basis, I'm reminded nearly everyday that communication is powerful. Parents deserve information. They deserve to know what we're teaching their kids. They deserve to know the details of events. They deserve to know the itinerary of mission trips. And they deserve to know why little Johnny got in trouble. Parents deserve information. And I think we all know and would agree with that truth.

So when I learned to communicate to the students' parents, things changed. Here's what I found:

It Helped me to be seen as someone who's credible

Promoted a team atmosphere between the me and the parents

Kept me accountable for my responsibility to lead their child

Helped ease their mind regarding their child's safety

Helped to promote discussion between the parent and their child

And the same still holds true today. Just like the differences between the iPhone and Crackberry, there are different ways and tools to communcate to parents. It doesn't matter what style or tools you use, it simply matters that you communicate. Because communication is powerful.

A Seacrest Surprise

So... this is what happens when u Twitter about liking Ryan Seacrest. Notice who the first @ reply is from. Ok, not directly from Ryan, but from his "team". Close enough. :-)

It's A Matter of Perspective

I recently read the following statement that made me analyze my perspective on, well, everything:

"Every time I wipe a kid's butt, it reminds me of all the dreams that I didn't fulfill."

That's one way to look at it.

Or, you could look at it this way: 

"Every time I wipe a kid's butt, it reminds me how much influence I have to help him/her succeed at their dreams."

Or: "Every time I wipe a kid's butt, it reminds me how much my children really need me to be available to them."

Or: "Every time I wipe a kid's butt, it reminds me that God has done the same for me time and time again to make me clean."

The point is, my perspective determines my attitude. And my attitude/perspective determines determines whether I live with a vision of what could and should be, or what could or should have been.

The choice is yours and mine. Which perspective will you live from?

That Cuts...

 

I found this nice little weapon during a recent home search of one of my students. In my experience, there's only one reason for someone to carry this... to attack... to injure... to hurt someone.

And in my own life, I've used something similar to this to do the same... my words - and usually to the people closest to me. Check this out:

"Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." Proverbs 12v18

I choose whether or not to carry my words like the homemade knife above, or to disarm myself and use my words wisely to heal and build people up - to bring vision to their lives. It's up to me.

That's my prayer for my life, and yours. To disarm ourselves - and bring healing and vision to everyone I/we come in contact with.

Mixed Signals

Yes. This is where Jami and I have to place our phones to get a clear signal - in our kitchen window. In order to receive/send text messages, phone calls, this is what we have to do. This is literally the best spot - it's our "hotspot". So if you get a text from us or are speaking to us on our cells at home, you'll know exactly where we'll be.

"Say What?"

That's what I said to myself during a fairly important meeting I attended this morning. It always amazes me that two people can hear two completely different meanings from the exact same statement. Which got me thinking - am I guilty of that? Do I take the time to clarify? AND, am I communicating clearly and effectively? Another question - do I care enough to make sure people are "getting it?" These really are big questions. So how are you doing? How is the Church doing? The questions need to be asked because miscommunication can have some pretty terrible consequences. So let's keep the air clear.